Re: Jessica's poem, "We Are"
1. Does the form of this poem create a wall between reader and poet, and if so what type of wall and why?
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Re: our relationships to poems, in which "it" is a poem. [Please answer in the first person]
2. Who am I to say it should be changed?
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11 comments:
Not quite sure what you mean by wall. If it's a separation, then no, infact I think the form draws me to the poem. It might add to "we" existing as the poet and someone who is not the reader, but that is done well enough by the language. As for who you are...
The one and only JB3 of course.
I am not going to answer the first question, for obvious reasons. As to the second:
I believe that when offering constructive criticism for poetry, who I am (or who anybody else is, for that matter) doesn't matter. I know that, when I am submitting my poetry to criticism, I just want as many opinions as possible--the more specific, the better. Nobody should be be afraid to tell me what they *think* I should do with my poem--even specific or radical things, such as "get rid of that line," "I hate that simile," and "You should change the entire thing to the third person"--as long as they recognize that I am not obligated to do it. Just because I don't end up following your advice does not mean that I don't want to at least hear it--because you never know, maybe I *will* agree with what you say.
So, who am *I* to tell you to change *your* poem? It doesn't matter. As long as you're not offended when I tell you to change it, I won't be offended when you don't change it. But at least you heard my opinion.
Personally, I don't think that the poem creates a wall. Her use of short, simple stanzas broken up with semicolons makes the poem very ordered, but that is just how she chose to write it; that is her form, which we have discussed a lot in class. I like the description she uses, and each stanza makes perfect sense to me, so I can't see any form of a "wall" in her poem.
In regards to the second question, "who am I to say that it should be changed," my response is simply that I am someone with an opinion. We are all in a discussion/workshop class where each of our opinions are important and should be taken into consideration. So, evne though I'm not always right, I do have my own thoughts and ideas, and the poet can decide whether to listen or not.
I don't really think that the poem creates a "wall". I actually think the form is really cool and that is what initially drew me to the poem. I like the use of short, descpritive stanzas that are broken up with semi-colons. I feel that even if the reader does get caught up in the form that its not too hard to get back on track because of the vivid descriptions. Again, I had no problem with the form and thought she did a good job with this poem.
When answering the second question, I couldn't agree with Drew anymore. This is a workshop style class and everyone has their right to an opinion. I feel that the only way for me to get better as a poet is to take into consideration everyone's thoughts and suggestions (especially the negative ones). I really like the style of this class because it allows the reader an opportunity to voice their opinions. Ulimately I think the audience has a right to their opinions but it is the poets desicion if they want to take those opinions into consideration.
-I feel that the form of Jessica's poem creates anything but a wall. As it was read in class both cutting the words off at the end of the line and as reading the whole word, the reader has many options for interpretation. This may be a little difficult to figure out the poem with several different meanings in front of you, but it makes it more interesting and it drew me into the poem a more than if it would have been in a different poem
-At first I thought that it wasn't my place to tell someone that I think their poem would sound better if they used a different word or it would be more interesting if they used a different form. After being in this workshop class, and having my own poems workshopped, I found that the opinions of my classmates help me greatly while revising poems. The fact that they can tell me their opinion on something and I have the option to go along with it or decide not to change anything is very valuable. It is hard sometimes to tell other people that you don't particularly like a certain thing about their work, but every opinion and suggestion helps better the poem that is being workshopped and future poems that we write.
like most i don't feel this poem creates a wall, though it looks like one. i think this poem feels a little plotted due to the strange division of words, but it dosn't seem inaccessable as a result. in fact those strange separations have made, as brandon said, some interesting and unique lines.
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who am I? I am the reader. I am the one who becomes confused when things are unclear. I am the one trying to access to something you have written. I am not an idiot. I just want to understand things. And like a good conversation between friends, my honesty will help you get your point across.
1. I don't think that Jessica's poem creates a wall; I think that the form is just very structured, but it works for the poem in an positive way.
2. I think that criticism can be helpful, it can really influence a poem and make it better...but ultimately it comes down to whether or not the poet is satisfied with what they have written.
1. Like discussed in class I felt at first interpretation a wall was created. Maybe using 'wall' wasn't the best diction however I felt distanced on first impression. After re-writing the poem it became much more attainable for me to interpret what was being written. With this in mind, I tried to keep the spaces the same, not rewriting the piece of work in paragraph form. This gave me a way to 'shelf' the difficult interpretation due to form, and focus on the importance of the poem itself. Obviously this wasn't a problem for most of the other readers. I really enjoyed the poem, and also was happy that it got so much attention. Great job Jessica.
2. Who am I to say it should be changed? Well I wrote that comment I suppose as a way to acknowledge that my suggestions are just that suggestions, and giving my formal education on poetry, which isn't the most decorated, it was a way to say, "take this with a grain of salt". This is something that should be addressed in my opinion, because unlike writing formal essays or ficiton writing, poets are sharing deep emotions, or feelings.
I don't think there is necessarily a "wall" created, at least not between the reader and poet. I feel like any figurative wall would perhaps be the seperation between the Poetic voice and companion suggested by "two shooting s/tars aiming fo/r eachother an/d mutually mis/sing."
:)
Poems are a medium of artistic expression and any reader has the right to offer opinions or criticisms. By definiton, art is whatever is considered artistically skillful. So everyone has the subjective right to decide whether "it" is artful or otherwise.
.. if that makes any sense
hindthoughts -
And who am I to decide "[who I am] to say it should be changed?"
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